izzetheking: I think we all should just stop masturbating with our dicks and start masturbating with our hearts
artalias: electronicanonsensica: Everyone is missing the biggest problem here. Fuck the ads. Fuck the links. Fuck the email stuff. Yahoo explicitly forbids pornography and sexually suggestive material on their websites and all affiliates. That means no more porn on Tumblr. … God help us all.
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
Hogwarts houses when given a dangerous thing to do
Slytherin: Gryffindor go do the thing
Gryffindor: I'M GOING TO DO THE THING
Ravenclaw: Don't do the thing without a proper shield charm you idiot
Hufflepuff: Can we eat after we do the thing
tvaros: i love watching my innocent friends slowly transform into beautiful horny butterflies as we get older
sabrinagrimm: sabrinagrimm: WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY
Reblog if you're bored and you want anons.
akatriel-rowanborn: walkwthoutrhythm: elfgrove: spookystriderass: sydferrett: why are some people so excited to be nineties kids i mean this was in style why wouldnt you be excited about that WE. USED. ALL. THE. COLORS. When you have slain a rainbow it is only right to use every part of it. See the Rainbow, Taste the Rainbow. Skin it for its pelt.
To all those suffering the AP Lang exam...
I see in your hands the same cramps that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the intellect of man fails, when we forsake our test-taking skills and break all bonds of scholarship. But it is not this day. Three hours of rhetorical techniques and shattered lead when the shrink-wrapped packets come crashing down. But it is not this day. Tomorrow, we write. By all that you hold dear...
cheesecakeforfuckssake: perpetualvelocity: justacollegegirl: moriarty: finally a student who has the courage to speak out against authority I’ve seen this twice today. Coming from a future teacher I appreciate this! I hate how she completely talks over him like ” get out im not listening” Just Ugh and the teachers are used to people sassing, but this is good. he’s saying the things....
sometimes i wonder what my teachers’ otps are. what if teachers shipped their students ship wars in the staff room anonymous hate mail in other teachers’ assignment boxes fanfiction written by english teachers, fanart drawn by art teachers the real edgy teachers write teacher/student fics and hope the school board doesn’t find out (the school board knows and eagerly awaits each...
ghost-anus: Have you ever met someone on the internet that you liked so much that you sometimes sit there and think “Oh man there are people who are lucky enough to see this person IN THE FLESH ON A REGULAR BASIS and I wonder if they realize how LUCKY they are”
onedirectionfangirlproblems: usa gets silver: russia gets silver: chinese get silver: british get bronze:
kosplaybaby: if you ever call me cute i will think about it all day and when i go to sleep i’ll just be a little burrito of blankets and i will whisper quietly “they called me cute”